Forgiveness

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.
- Mohandas Gandhi

This Eid I decided to cleanse my soul by putting away my pride and asking for forgiveness. I made a list consisting of people I inferred I had done the most wrong to then I proceeded to apologize for all my wrongdoings.

This year there was one particular person whom I specifically had to clear out all the stuff in the attic with. I came to that realization when I met him recently at his hometown. After talking to him for awhile I started understanding him a little better, something that I couldn't have done 5 or 10 years back.

I couldn't help him. I couldn't save him. I know this sounds condescending but he needed my help and I couldn't give it to him. The reason for that was simple. I was too young. Foolish. Naive. I couldn't guide him because I still didn't know who I was then. And because of that I had to walk away.

To this day I still can't help but feel like I left him in a lurch. That I abandoned him in time of need. So I said sorry, because I truly am. If only things were different, if only I was stronger and smarter, if only.

I still can't help him today but I hope that one day he will find someone who can.